


How The Team Met Emily

by TheQueen



Series: When Scientist Became Synonymous With Hero [4]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Romance, Talking Animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:32:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueen/pseuds/TheQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes Night Vale is the most fascinating, beautiful little town in all of America, probably all of the world. And other times, you’re too caught up in chasing sentient bras around a thrift store to appreciate that beauty." ~ Carlos The Scientist</p><p>
  <b>DISCONTINUED</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	How The Team Met Emily

Sometimes Night Vale is the most fascinating, beautiful little town in all of America, probably all of the world. And other times, you’re too caught up in chasing sentient bras around a thrift store to appreciate that beauty.

Carlos The Scientist

…

“Okay,” Alex huffed, siting down where she stood on the mountain of clothes. Kicking off her boots to stretch her toes and roll her ankles. She groaned. “I’m exhausted.”

“I told you to wear sneakers,” Rashida said absentmindedly as she continued to rummage through the clothes.

“This is the fourth thrift store we’ve gone to,” Alex whined, ignoring the Doctor.

Across the room, Zane agreed, “I’m with Alex on this one,” he added, turning the volume in his coms lower as conversation opened up over the feed. “Bossman, ya sure your sweet wasn’t just messing with you?”

“Uncle Cecil would never do that,” Olu defended throwing a bright orange t-shirt with the picture of Mayor Pamela Winchel at Zane’s head (which he dodged because he was an asshole like that). “Not if he knew we were going to do Science.”

Science with a capital S for importance. That was how it was pronounced in Night Vale and it was surreal to Rashida, and she was sure to the others as well. She knew she has respect for her profession at home but not revered. It was…it was unnatural and rather disconcerting and mostly terrifying. After she had set a few bones and stitched a few wounds after the pterodactyl incident without the use of bloodstones, people had taken to bowing to her in the street. That wasn’t the sort of attention she felt she could be responsible for.

“My shirt blinked,” Carlos cut through the chatter, walking down his own clothes mountain. Olu would never be able to understand why Night Vale needed such large thrift stores, though to be fair this was the longest one they’d been to so far. “I saw it and – “

“ A scientist trusts themselves,” the Scientists finished for him out of practice.

Carlos grinned.

“Mr. Scientist?” called the owner of the thrift store, a Mrs. Daniels, if Alex remembered correctly. Her husband was in jail for fraud, Mrs. Daniels had told James when they’d been canvasing the store (canvasing because it sounded cooler and more profession than checking out). Apparently, the three-headed dragon-lady had developed a big of a crush on their resident physicist. 

Rashida and Hussain had found it particularly hilarious, which it was, bit not that funny. Her girlfriend (sorta-girlfriend? Almost-girlfriend?) and her brother always had a strange humor.

Speaking of Hussain, “Has anyone seen where Hussain, Minnie, and James have gone off to?” Alex asked too loudly, a screeching noise of protest from their semi-sentient com system; cutting off whatever Mrs. Baniels had been saying when Carlos flinched from the static.

“How rude!” cried the orange head.

“I agree,” added the green.

“Ha!” the black one snapped, “I ought to thank the girl, you two never agree.”

Carlos threw her a glare before turning back to Mrs. Daniels and said in the same deep baritone he uses when dealing with someone particularly aggravating, “What can we do to help you, Mrs. Daniels?” Carlos pacified.

“Such a sweet man,” the black head cooed.

The orange one smiled, “I’m so glad you finally gave poor Cecil a chance. You two are so good together.”

“May the OLD GODS bless you with many children,” finished the green.

Alex knew if she touched Carlos’ cheeks at that moment, they’d be burning. But he just nodded and carried on, “Thank you, Mrs. Daniels. I’ll let Cecil know.”

“Yes. You do that dear,” the green one laughed.

“We’re here because three of your scientists just left to get lunch and we were wondering how much longer you would be,” the black one finished with a smile, showing off a nice row of golden teeth.

“You do have a lot of clothes,” Carlos pointed out.

“Thank you.” They said in startling unison.

“Yes so … um … it will take us some time … because you have so many clothes,” Carlos clarified with a swooping gesture to indicate how many mountains upon mountains of clothes there were. Smiling at the three-headed dragon lady with the same smile he used when needing to get his Scientists out of a spot of trouble with the Mayor Pamela Winchel.

To Alex’s shock—and Rashida’s humor from the way she was attempting to smother her gaffs (very attractive gaffs that made her eyes crinkle into little smiles and her dimples to come out and OMG! Alex had it BAD for this girl, Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick this had not been the plan)—the dragon lady (the _dragon lady_ ) blushed a bright blue across all six cheeks so she looked like she was glowing.

“I completely understand.” The black and orange heads purred while peering up at Carlos through fluttering eyelashes despite standing two heads taller than the Professor.

“Take your time,” the green one giggled. Bowing the dragon lady returned to the front of the store and only once Carlos was sure she was out of hearing range-two miles, he had tested—did he turn to his Scientists and ask, “So where have Minnie and Hussain and James gone off to and do I want to know what the former two are doing?”

“My brother is a gentleman,” Rashida argued. “And they have gone to get lunch. It’s Friday, remember. Plus, James is with them.”

“Wasn’t it Tuesday, yesterday?” Zane cut in. “Was it a scheduling error or a time jump?”

“You’ll have to ask Uncle Cecil,” Olu said as he attempted to undo a giant wade of tangled sleeves and felts and straps that he had found while Carlos had charmed Mrs. Daniels, who he felt rather sad for. She was all alone in this giant warehouse of a store that just seemed to grow wider and longer the more he looked at it and…oh… “Bossman!” Olu cried.

“Olu!” came the cry of four voices, so loud that Olu had to rip out his ear piece of a second to regain hearing in his right ear. When he put it back in, it was only Carlos’ semi-calm voice in his ear. “Olu are you all right?”

“Bossman, is the room growing?” Olu asked, slidding down his mountain with all the grace of a street clean.

“Wh-shit!” Zane cried as he scrambled down after him, accidentally kicking the wade of clothes down so it followed on Olu’s heel. “Anyone seen an exit?”

Rashida looked in the direction Mrs. Daniels had departed and felt nothing but dread as she saw pile after pile, mountain after mountain, of clothes…ands he and Alex were sitting on one of the tallest mountains in the room.

(She remembered because Zane had flat-out refused to deal with that “shit storm.” And Rashida had volunteered in his place. And where she went Alex was sure to follow which was flattering and terrifying and part of her still wonders if Alex came to Night Vale because of her. Which was also very self-centered and probably not at all true because any work with Carlos that you could put on your resume was something that opened every door, especially for a young, queer woman like Alex.)

“I can’t see anything,” she said and heard cries of alarm over the com, muted because she was smart enough to keep the volume low with this group.

“Breath, everyone, breath,” Carlos called out, gesturing fo the four remaining Scientists to join him at the foot of one of the mountain, “Now, remember,” he said when everyone had joined him, “What is the seventh rule of being a Scientists?”

“A Scientist never panics,” Olu hurriedly recited, twisting his hands together. “He thinks,” Olu took a deep breath and squeezed his hands together before slowly breathing out as he felt his heart rate fall.

“Thank you, Olu,” Carlos praised.

“A scientist never panics,” the other’s agreed, each taking a moment to calm down before they turned their full focus to Carlos.

“Ok…” Zane said at last, “What’s the game plan?”

…

Minnie actually hated pizza, but so did Julie so it tended to make her feel better. After all, it wasn’t her who had to work in a pizza parlor.

“The kitchen smells like a nightmare,” Julie grumbled, leaning on her left foot and propping her hip against the counter to lean forward as if imparting a great secret to Minnie, “Papa Rico is off doing one of his experiments,” she scoffed, “As if we didn’t have enough pizza.”

“What’s on it this time?” Husain asked from where he was leaning against the wall with an air of boredom so thick it weighed down the air around him.

Next to him sat James, sitting on the floor and using Husain’s leg as a headrest as he continued to nap, his mouth hanging slightly open as he snored softly. Not that Minnie blamed him. They’d been waiting for this stupid-ass pizza for over an hour now.

“I don know. I don ask.” Julie snapped and Minnie though that Julie was usually such a sweet girl to hang out with but not someone you tell secrets to. She just had a bit of a big mouth and a love for talking. But it was just here where she turned sourer than Cactus June on a cold day with the same habit of biting off the heads of anyone who came too close. Literally. There was a reason Minnie was standing a good five feet away form the counter. It was a pity she couldn’t quit. No one just _quit_ Big Rico’s.

“Its something Hannibal inspired,” called a nasally-Jersey-esque voice from the backroom that made Minnie want to put a fist through a table the minute those delicate syllables reached her ears. Because if Julie was a bitch at work. Morgan was a mega-bitch, a queen of bitchdom. And there she was with her perfect bubble-gum pink hair and her damn rosy cheeks and perfect fucking figure. She smiled when she saw Minnie and near leered when she spotted Husain who had the decency (or the brains) to not react.

Minnie glared.

Julie hurriedly excused herself with a “I’ll go check on your pizzas.”

“Hey, Minnie,” Morgan cooed, “How are you?” her grin widened to show her black-black canines.

Minnie had many virtues. A calm temper was not one. “I’m waiting by the car,” she snapped, spun on her heels and left.

She didn’t even fucking like pizza.

…

“Okay, so everybody clear on the plane?” Carlos calls out one more time on the com.

“Yes!” Alex huffed. It wasn’t like it was that complicated anyway. They’d be fine. Probably.

“You know,” Alex says after a moment, “I say we listen to Cecil next time and not go to the thrift store in search of outdated fashion.”

Carlos laughed, “I’ll tell him you said that.”

“You do that,” Zane said, tugging on the rope so it reached max tension it could based on the limited force Zane was able to apply (and this is why no one learned physics. No practical application).

“Everybody get into position,” Rashida barked, “Cut the chatter.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Just as Carlos was about to call it, Olu cried, “Wait.”

Everyone froze.

There was silence before Olu spoke again, “I think I found what we’re looking for.”

“Who you talking to, Sugar?” asked a distinctly feminine voice over the comm.”

“Hey! Give that back,” Olu cried in the background before there was a loud burst of static that made everyone cry out and for Zane yank the stupid thing out of his ear before his line went dead.

Rashida cursed something filthy in French, “Carlos?”

“Abandon the plan,” Carlos said, “Plan L is in action. Find Olu.”

Zane groaned, “As always.”

…

Husain came out half an hour later, a frosty held out like a peace offering along with a smile that was a little two familiar.

“You steal that move from Carlos?” Minnie asked, accepting the drink with a small smile.

Husain took a seat next to her on the sidewalk, “It works for Cecil.”

“Well,” Minnie huffed after taking a large spoon full of frosty, “I’m not Cecil.”

“No.” Husain agreed, “Nor are you Morgan”

Minnie frowned and kicked her foot out uselessly in front of her. Leaning back on her hand so when she looked at Husain she saw his profile, “You couldn’t just leave things well enough alone, could you?”

“It is not in my nature,” Husain shrugged, “And certainly not when it bothers you so much.”

“I’ll get over it,” Minnie presented like her own peace offering.”

“I am not with her,” Husain plowed on, “I have not been since I realized how much I enjoyed your company.”

Minnie shrugged, “I know. Rationally, I know.”

Hussain nodded, seemingly content.

Minnie groaned and ate another mouthful of frosty, “Do you think I should apologize?”

“In your own time…. When it’ll mean something.”

Minnie pouted and looked out onto the street to the strange cars of Night Vale pass through the parking lot, “I hate it when you’re right.”

Husain laughed.

…

It took what felt like hours (but really was closer to about half) to find Olu half buried under a pile of clothes.

“All right,” Rashida sighed, “Let’s dig him out.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Zane grumbled under his breath before pulling clothes out of the way with Rashida’s help (and he could practically feel the tension oozing off of her, poisoning the air, but at this point everyone was frazzled and tense and the room just getting bigger and Zane’s feet really ached, okay.) As Zane and Rashida did most of the grunt work, Carlos walked to the side to letting Cecil know he was going to be late or not able to go at all, maybe never again, for their dinner date. Alex was just lazy and her feet really hurt (she’d lost her boots a while ago).

“Wait!” Olu cried out as Zane grabbed a pair of cowboy pants (and they were gross and cow-skin and a fashion disaster in every sense of the word, emphasis on disaster), “She’ll find me!”

“Who’ll find you?” Alex asked, getting off her phone to peer over Zane’s shoulder.

And was Olu blushing? “She said her name is Emily and…um…well she’s a—“

“Olu!” cried a familiar feminine voice from around the corner. “I found you~! You really are very good at hiding, but I told you I was a better seeker.”

Unable to comprehend what he was seeing, Zane rubbed his eyes and when the image didn’t change, Zane glanced at Olu, “Really?”

Olu grumbled under his breath, the same blush growing stronger.

Because in front of them, undeniably, was a bar. A floating, speaking, bring pink, lacy, Victoria Secret Bra…. named Emily?

“Oh!” the bra seemed to sing, “You must be Olu’s friends.” If a bra could smile, Zane was pretty sure she was smiling and all of Zane’s former tiredness was banished because when non-sentient things smiled in Night Vale, it usually meant someone as going to die. “You’re just in time for our wedding~!”

 _Jesus Christ_ on a pogo stick!

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be one chapter but it got really long.


End file.
